Your Life Is Not on Hold
When I was a kid, I remember asking my mom when I would get married. She told me I would probably find someone to date in high school and get married after college. High school and college have long been completed for me, but I seem to have missed the getting married train.
The Single Life
I was in a conversation once with someone that was about to get married and another single person. They said, “Wow, your life must be sad since you don’t have someone.” (Side note: please don’t say this to anyone, ever.) If we weren’t listening to the conversation before, we were now. We both quickly replied and explained that although life wasn’t as planned, we weren’t just sitting around. Marriage is not a bridge to the land where you start living your life.
I’m now 31 and single, with no end in sight. The hand-me-down dishes, silverware, and furniture I received when I moved out at age 23 are still in use. Because when you move out, you expect to not need them too long—most people soon have the privilege of receiving nice, new gifts at your wedding shower. I’m here to tell you…you don’t have to wait to have nice things. Update your furniture or dishes if you’d like to. Travel. Have fun. Your life is not on hold!
Live your life where you are and enjoy it. I have two jobs that I love—working for Chase Oaks and an Etsy business, friends near and far, and family nearby. I can travel and keep my apartment as I please. Not all bad, but it would be nice to have some help with daily tasks and a partner to share life with. Did I expect to be married and have a family at this point? Oh yes. And I would like to be able to do that soon.
Groups Can Build Your Community
One of the best things I have found in my single life is community through groups. The group has changed through seasons of growth and multiplying into new groups, but I found my crew of five great friends (plus a few with new spouses joining!) through The Smack Young Adult Group. We formed a bond and we go from exchanging memes to daily chit chat to prayer requests and helping each other with real-life issues. We’re there for each other, and through the group, we have formed our own family.
God Has You Right Where You're Meant to Be
One of my favorite songs has lyrics that say, “I’m right where I’m meant to be.” And though I expected things to be different, God has me here for a reason. He will work on His timing (and yeah, that can be frustrating when it doesn’t follow our own expectations), and it will ultimately be better than our own ideas because He knows us best.
So wherever you are in life, whether you’re single, married with kids, without kids, a student, or anything, know that God has placed you there for a reason. Use your time! It might look different than someone in a different life stage than you, and that’s totally fine! We are all created to be good at different tasks, which makes us better together as a whole. Every person’s efforts and use of time is useful for God. Maybe you’ve got a family to raise and can barely carve out one hour a month to serve. Or maybe you’re single and have 3 hours a week to serve.
All stages of life have unique challenges and joys. After all, the grass is always greener on the other side, isn’t it? One thing is true: God will always use us in whatever stage we’re in and His timing for our life will be perfect.
Looking for community? Find more information on groups here, and make plans to join us in January 2021 for The Gamble.