How To Handle Stress When Life Feels Out of Control
The Gunter house has been a little crazy these days. It’s no longer because of potty training or teething tantrums; now it’s navigating a full-time job while keeping up with sports practices, school assignments, playdates, dinner plans, and trying not to forget pajama day at school…again.
The truth is, no matter what life season we’re in, stress doesn’t magically disappear. It just matures with us. For me, the sleepless nights are still there, only now they’re filled with late-night project prep, soccer cleats that need to be located (immediately), and wondering if we remembered to sign that permission slip.
And whether you’re single, or dating, or married, or married with kids, you’ve probably felt that low hum of pressure vibrating beneath the surface. The never-ending juggle of career or school with family or other relationships. Issues at the office, hurt in a friendship, a medical diagnosis, a financial setback—stress can come from many places, but it often brings pressure and the guilt of never feeling fully present or prepared, anywhere.
When Life Feels Out of Control
As adults, stress can be sneaky. It doesn’t always show up as an emotional outburst or full breakdown. Sometimes, it’s a quiet sense of dread, a nagging feeling like you’re forgetting something important (because you probably are). It’s the constant noise in your brain:
Did I RSVP to the birthday party? Did I move that meeting? What day is spirit day again? Wait… did I sign up for snacks this weekend?
And while we’re laughing at how forgetful we’ve become, underneath that is a deeper tension:
- What if I miss something important because I’m stretched too thin?
- Why do I feel like I’m failing, even though I’m trying my best?
- What if I can’t sustain this pace anymore?
- Why does everyone else seem like they’re doing fine when I’m barely hanging on?
- Am I showing up for those I care about in the ways they need me, when it counts?
Stress often leads us into spirals of comparison, shame, and self-doubt. We think we’re alone in the chaos when in reality, many of us are silently walking the same tightrope. We feel overwhelmed, under-rested, and unsure if this is what life is supposed to look like.
The Invisible Load
A lot of the stress we carry is invisible: the mental checklist of groceries, appointments, project deadlines, conflicts to resolve, and friends and family in need of emotional support. You might be holding things together at work, answering emails in the school pickup line, and planning dinner in your head while sitting in a staff meeting. You’re functioning, but you’re definitely not flourishing.
This invisible load is what often leads to something called flooding, when emotions overwhelm us to the point that we can’t think clearly, communicate well, or even make simple decisions. One minute you’re folding laundry, and the next you’re crying because someone used the last of the good coffee pods and no one told you. (Not speaking from personal experience, of course...)
Recognizing Flooding
Flooding can look different for everyone. But often you’ll see it in
- Shutting down emotionally
- Snapping at loved ones over small things
- Feeling paralyzed by decisions
- Being constantly irritable or exhausted
When this happens, it’s a signal…not of failure, but of you needing some attention, care, and rest.
Healthy Ways to Handle Stress
Here are some tips for emotional regulation when you're flooded.
Start with a pause. Take a breath. Give yourself a moment to reset. And try asking yourself:
- What just triggered this?
- What story am I telling myself about what’s happening?
- Are my emotions matching the facts—or my fears?
- Am I running on too-little sleep or a deficit of nourishing food?
Then, try using your five senses in a positive way to calm those negative emotions and re-center yourself.
- Sight: Step outside. Look at something in nature, like clouds, a tree, or the sunset.
- Sound: Play a favorite song or calming playlist.
- Touch: Wrap up in something cozy or take a shower to reset your nervous system.
- Taste: Savor a small treat or a warm drink. Be fully present and enjoy the flavor as you do.
- Smell: Light a candle, sniff a freshly cut citrus fruit or herb, or diffuse a comforting essential oil.
If you are in a sleep or food deficit, figure out how to address those needs. These aren’t magic solutions, but they do help your body and brain calm down so you can think clearly, recover from emotional flooding, and figure out how to handle the stress.
Spiritual Perspectives on Stress
The Bible doesn’t promise a stress-free life. In fact, Jesus was pretty clear that we’d have trouble in this world. But Scripture does offer us a different way to carry what we’re holding.
For example, Galatians 5:22-23 reminds us of the fruit of the Spirit: “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”
None of these traits require us to be perfect. They don’t demand we have it all together. They’re the result of a life connected to God—one where we’re rooted in his presence, not running on our own performance. Your coworkers may not see everything you’re juggling, but God does. He sees the quiet sacrifices, the late-night tears, the early morning prayers. And he isn’t asking you to hustle harder; He’s inviting you to rest in him.
So maybe handling stress when life is out of control isn’t about mastering a new routine or finding the perfect balance. Maybe it’s simply about turning your heart back toward peace by reminding yourself that God is the one in control, even when the chaos threatens to take over. It could be just practicing gentleness—with your kids, your partner, your co-workers, your friends, and most of all, yourself.
Building Micro-Moments of Peace
Here’s another tip. You don’t need a weekend retreat to combat stress and find rest. You can create “micro-moments” of peace in your day. Try one of the following this week:
- Pray a 5-minute prayer while sitting in carline
- Say “no” to one more commitment
- Put your phone away during dinner
- Practice replacing self-criticism with self-compassion
These small choices add up and help to create more space for joy and resilience in the midst of stress.
Final Thoughts
Stress happens. We can’t always change that. But we can choose how we respond to it. When we exercise emotional regulation skills under stress, we will begin to shift the posture of our hearts from anxiety, worry, and anger to one of readiness for the fruit of the Spirit to grow in our lives.
So how will you handle stress the next time life feels out of control? Not perfectly. But hopefully, honestly, with grace and the reassurance that this season will also pass.