Big Questions: Am I Good Enough?

Posted by Cindy Park, Contributing Writer, on Jan 05, 2022

Big Questions: Am I Good Enough?

There must be something wrong with me. Everyone else has it together—they’re living fulfilled lives, with lots of friends and deep connections, but I feel so lonely. Maybe it’s because I’m too socially awkward. Or too boring? Or too emotional?

I’m just too much for people to handle. Or maybe I’m not enough?

Maybe I’m just not worthy of love. I need to work harder to hide these crazy parts of myself, because if people really knew what I was thinking and feeling, they would be horrified. They would be so disappointed in me.

I wrestle with these kinds of thoughts often, and even though I know they’re not 100 percent true, something about them feels so real and accurate about me. Why is it so easy for my mind to repeat these same thoughts over and over?

The answer is partly in the way our brains are wired. Our brains are designed to look for patterns and to create neurological pathways, so that thinking a thought or doing something becomes easier and easier the more we repeat it.

Learning to drive a car is hard at first, but the longer you do it, the easier it becomes. The same thing happens with our thoughts. The more we think something, the easier it becomes to think that same thought again because our brain creates a pathway to make it effortless. Our brains essentially get stuck in a neurological rut.

So how do we get out of these ruts?

1. We need to first realize that we have a real enemy who is attacking us with lies and accusations. The Bible calls this accuser Satan, and all this accuser has to do is repeat the lies to us enough times so that we start to believe it.

2. After we recognize that our thoughts are actively under attack, we need to identify the lies that we are believing. For me, it would be that I’m not good enough so I have to work hard to prove that I’m worthy of love and acceptance.

3. The final key is to replace the lies with the truth. I was talking to a friend about the lies I struggle with and she shared with me this mantra that she repeats to herself: “I’m not what I’ve done; I’m not what I have; I’m not who others say I am.” It was such a relief to hear those words, because I felt like it was unlocking some of the mental cages that I had been trapped in. Those words she shared are 100 percent true, and truth always brings freedom.

So if I’m not what I’ve done or what I have, and I'm not who others say I am, then who am I? The Bible tells me that I am loved, chosen, forgiven, worthy, free and made new.

I repeat this process of identifying the lie and replacing it with God’s truth sometimes multiple times a day, sometimes multiples times an hour. Some days, the sheer number of times the lies pop into my head feels discouraging.

But I remind myself to keep going, because I don’t want to stay a slave to those thoughts and be trapped in that unhealthy way of thinking. I know that only by taking control of my thoughts can I create new neural pathways that ultimately lead not only to transformed thoughts, but to a transformed life.

Find and share more thoughtful answers to life's questions at the Big Questions playlist on YouTube

Share This:

Recent Stories

Swipe to Discover more

3 Ways To Keep Learning About Black History

Feb 25, 2024

Black History Month celebrates the heritage and achievements of black Americans, past and present. But why and how can we keep learning, once February is over?

Remembering the Dream: Honoring MLK, Jr.

Feb 23, 2024

Several Chase Oakers share their reflections on the impact and legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s iconic "I Have a Dream" speech.

Five Things You Can Do For Lent This Year

Feb 11, 2024

What's the history of Lent? How is it observed? It's not just a way to pass time before Easter. It's a great opportunity to take some steps toward personal transformation.

Creative Ways that Everyone Can Celebrate Love

Feb 09, 2024

Valentine’s Day: love it, hate it, skip it? Whatever your view, love is for everyone at any age or life stage. We’ve got some fresh ideas for how everyone can celebrate love this week and beyond.

Where To Celebrate Lunar New Year 2024 in DFW

Feb 05, 2024

Happy Lunar New Year 2024! We've listed just a few of the many places you can celebrate the Year of the Dragon in DFW.

Four Reasons Why We Should Celebrate Black History Month

Jan 30, 2024

Black History Month is a celebration of the lives and achievements of African Americans who have made a difference in our world.

The Local Good Pantry: Nourishing Communities, Creating Hope

Jan 26, 2024

The newly opened Local Good Pantry offers hope to the surrounding community by addressing hunger and food insecurity with dignity.

12 Bible Verses for When You're Feeling Anxious

Jan 21, 2024

Feeling anxious? You're not alone. Be encouraged by these 12 Bible verses and the reassuring perspective they provide.

Finding Freedom and Forgiveness After Abuse: Rowena's Story (Part 2)

Jan 11, 2024

In confronting the cycle of abuse in her life, one woman found hope, healing, and something else: the freeing power of forgiveness.

Finding Freedom and Forgiveness After Abuse: Rowena's Story (Part 1)

Jan 10, 2024

Seeking to end years of domestic abuse, one woman found healing from an unexpected source.