How Releasing Bitterness Set Me Free Group Guide

Discussion Questions

Choose the questions for your group; no pressure to use all of them.

1. What's one petty thing that recently annoyed you more than it probably should have?
2. On a scale of 1–10, how easy is it for you to “let things go”? Why?
3. Read Genesis 27:30-41. This passage sets up the context for Esau’s bitterness against his brother Jacob. How can you relate to what Esau is feeling?
4. Read Genesis 33:1-12. After twenty years of not communicating, what stands out to you about Esau’s reaction to Jacob?
5. What’s a situation in your life where you’ve held onto bitterness—whether petty or profound?
6. What impact has that bitterness had on your emotional, physical, or spiritual well-being?
7. Ryan first insight was this: “Moving on gives us perspective.” Have you ever experienced the peace that comes with forgiveness? What did it take to get there?
8. Ryan’s second insight was that “We can let go of resentment before there’s a resolution.” Forgiveness doesn’t mean re-trusting someone, but it does mean releasing them from debt. Is there someone you need to release—even if they never apologize?
9. Ryan third insight was that “Forgiveness is an inside job that has an outside influence.” Esau’s forgiveness had ripple effects for generations. Who is watching your response to hurt, and how might your choice to forgive influence others?
10. What would it look like for you to take a step toward forgiveness this week? (e.g. journaling, praying for them, having a hard conversation, setting a boundary, etc.)
11. How can our group pray for you as you begin or continue that journey?

Verse to meditate on and memorize this week

But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept. (Genesis 33:4)

Put It into Practice (Between Meetings)

• Daily Surrender / Releasing Prayer - Forgiveness often isn’t a one-time event—it’s a daily discipline of handing an offense back over to God. Begin or end your day with a short prayer of surrender, releasing bitterness, offense, or unresolved pain to God. (For example, “God, I give you what I’ve been holding onto. Help me trust you with the hurt they caused and give me strength to release them so I can walk in peace.”)
• Scripture Meditation - Meditate on key forgiveness passages to reshape your mindset. Suggested passages: Genesis 33 (Esau & Jacob's reunion), Matthew 6:14–15 (forgiveness and the Lord’s Prayer), Colossians 3:13 (“Forgive as the Lord forgave you”), Romans 12:17–21 (leaving room for God's justice). Read slowly, reflect, and ask: “What does this reveal about God, and what does it invite me to do?”
• Journaling a “Release & Rewrite” Exercise - Write down the name of a person who hurt you. Describe what they did, how it affected you, and what you feel you “lost.” Then write a new paragraph answering: “How has God provided for me in spite of that? How is he rewriting my story?” This helps you shift your focus from what was taken to what God can still restore.
• Intercessory Prayer for the Person Who Hurt You - Pray blessing over the person who hurt or wronged you—even if you don’t feel like it. Jesus taught in Matthew 5:44: “Pray for those who persecute you.” Start small: “God, I don’t want to, but I choose to pray for their good. Help me mean it more each time I say it.”
• Silence and Stillness Before God - Spend 5–10 minutes in silence, inviting the Holy Spirit to search your heart. Prayer Prompt: “Search me, God, and know my heart… Show me where I’ve let bitterness take root.” (Psalm 139:23–24) Bitterness can often hide under justified pain. Silence helps us become aware of what’s truly going on in our spirit.
• Confession and Communion - If you're carrying resentment, confess it to God or a trusted friend. Take communion after confessing, not just to remember Jesus’ sacrifice—but to receive his grace afresh for your own forgiveness journey. Verse to reflect on: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)
• Act of Reconciliation (If Safe and Wise) - If God leads you and it's healthy/safe, reach out to the person. Not to fix everything, but maybe to say: “I’m choosing to forgive and move forward. I wanted you to know that.” Caution: This is not for everyone or every situation. Seek God’s timing and peace. Forgiveness doesn't always mean re-engagement.
• Would you like to receive this Group Guide via email each week? If so, you can subscribe to the weekly “Message Rewind” email HERE.